I'm in Love

Long time didn't update a post, so now just to write up something.
That day having a blunt with Wei, then he said, I shall make a documentary about you, to record a year about you. To see what had happened in you during this year. I said, it might be interesting because we are stoning right now, but when we get sober, maybe not that interesting...

so now I am sober, do I think it's interesting? yea, a little bit.
2018, a year of ups and downs. Many sort of emotions has came out from my inner mind.
The starting of the world was best, we had good new year eve party with everyone. But soon Kiat left the world, and leave us some emotional times, as his closed friend, I have to face the fact, and accept it. I then suffered a little on the work stuffs, I had some devil comes from my heart, I lost some focus, and then I found back and downs..

soon. just recent, August, someone comes in to my life.. she is Risa, from East Java. A passer by, and then we fall in love.


Walk out from the comfort zone

Without an intention, you were suck into depression
without any acknowledgement, you walk out from the depression
that is the comfort zone
either you want to live in, with pleasure and happiness
or you step out and suffer the changes

I am better now, after I talked to my father
I am feeling good now, at least, with my family

my art journey is on the right track
always got chances from so many ways
I think I have sent good energies to the universe
and I got the feedback from there, there.

Let's the "Other" begins

Once you started living in this world, you are about to get into a comparison system. It is a gigantic networking cruel system, connecting every inch of soil in every corners in this world. You don't need to be perfect, because there are always people living a style of "non of my business" or "I don't give a fuck"

If you are lucky, you have money, I'm saying a lot of money, from your parents, or your ancestor.. or you have a special power, your grand father found a stone on the island in middle of noway of the South China Sea. He hide this power stone under his bed, never tell anyone, until one day he is about going to leave this world and he told you about this stone under his bed. You took out the stone, and you become another power-hold-man, or a guardian of stone.

You seldom use the power, and living as a don't give a shit human being. One day, you use the secret power, to save a live in the middle of noway of South China Sea. And the one being sa…

If I gone better in next six days

I think is a good time for me to write down my recent swinging mood. I was reading books of Murakami since 2013, it's been a good 5 years. So far I think I have read 8 or 10 books of him. Written in English, Traditional Chinese or Simplified Chinese. I found his books is interesting, I like to read. 

No way, I suppose to be depress, but who identify this is kind of depression. Do I sick? or my brain extracted some irregular toxic from middle of my brain leaf? I barely take in charge of my emotions, maybe I did, but it wasn't the expectation. I hated myself in some moment, I said I should love myself, and the people that I know, all these emotions was in 51seconds. 

Up and down, I think everyone deserve this kind of life, either you choose to be on this side, or the opposite. I need to find a balance, that is the desperate decision. I hope I could recovered, I could back to me, the ME that I desired to be. Despite I tried a few exercise, from dancing, music, writing the garbage i…











那么什么是他妈的“生活”?最近我不时把这词说出来,究竟我对自己的“生活” 有多了解与坚定?我到底明白我自己在说什么吗?